From: Siren
Subject: My incredibly surreal trip to Nawlins
Did you miss me? Did you notice I was gone? Well in case you did or
in case you've noticed that since my return I have been especially
cheerful, I should explain that this is due to the fact that I have
developed a new appriciation for the CP, after my return from two weeks
in New Orleans.
On May 22, I set out with my two cohorts, Livia and Diana, the plan
being that we would spend our time in the midst of music, merriment and
delicous food as we made our fortunes in the great city of Nawlins.
Well, the food was fantastic, the bars were fun, the city was gorgeous,
the music outstanding and as for our fortunes, well... things did not
go exactly as planned.
We arrived at Big Daddies for our *pre-arranged* employment, only to be
told that there had been a mistake and that there wasn't any room for
us. After some groping and lewd suggestions by the creepy manager,
Rick, I was escorted to their sister club, the Silver Frolics on Burbon
Street, where my incredibly surreal experience began.
My first impression was that the place was tiny, filthy and spooky,
with nothing but 70's heavymetal on the jukebox, but I was lured into
staying by the fact that the next room over was chock full of gorgeous
*male* strippers.
I crammed myself into the dressingroom/closet and was introduced to
just how wierd some strippers can be. I'll be damned, there really are
drug-addicted, gun toting nymphomaniac dancers out there.
My favorite quote: "Evary tom ah see that man dance ah git so hau-nay."
My favorite dance move: A woman putting a folded dollar bill in the
back of her g-string and squeezing her butt cheeks together so as to
make it flap like a butterfly, then taking it out of her crack,
sniffing it and making a sour face... a real class act, that one.
Well, several hours and $30.00 dollars later, I notice that I am the
only one not making money. As I pondered how to answer the question,
"Why should I pay $20.00 to have you dance for me in the corner, when I
can see you for free?" (We had to dance about 10 times per night with
tips being a rarity), one of the dancers (the haunay one) informed me
that the hustle goes something like this:
"I can give you a $20.00 dance or I can do a hotel dance for you after
work, but you have to buy a $100.00 first, or you can give me half of
the money now and the other half at the hotel." Either way, no one
goes to the hotel. This is not in my repituare, so I opted to work my
butt off on this lame frat-boy crowd for peanuts.
Meanwhile, in the next room, the nice, big clean room, with the
dancers' choice of music playing, the male stripper/protitutes were
making a fortune convincing the female patrons to pay them $100.00 a
pop for the privilage of giving them an unsafe blowjob.
The whole place reeked of AIDS as all of the female dancers were
fucking all of the male dancers, creating an atmosphere of melodrama
and bitterness among the employees. The fact that everyone was drunk
spiced up the action considerably. We were treated to a new soap opera
nightly.
Back to the front room. Our stage was tiny, consisting mostly a big
motorized lazy susan type thing. I quickly learned that if one has
long hair, one shouldn't lie down on this structure as it can get
sucked into the motor.
Next to this disk was an iron pole and behind this, a piece of torn red
fabric stapled to the wall. It was difficult to spin around the pole
without kicking either the lazy susan or the wall. When I did use the
pole, it left a big black bruise on my inner thigh which to my horror,
was gone after a shower! (shutter).
We lasted a couple of nights, but ultimately, couldn't take it anymore.
Finally, Diana discovered a beautiful club, the Maiden Voyage, but
alas, I caught a bad case of poison ivy while looking for salamanders
in the bayou, passed it along to D. so we couldn't work, due to the
welts which covered our poor itchy bodies.
Now I'm back at the CP, where everything is so nice and clean, honest
and upfront and the girls are so... normal. Happy, happy joy, joy.
Siren