interlude. Some names have been changed. And some comments added for clarification. 6:27 p.m. 12/24/96 Work finished very early today. Got home. wrapped presents. Realized forgot to get present for [brother's girlfriend]. So, took a walk to get a gift. As I was walking, started to think how lonely I get this time of the year. Even though I'm around lots of people I'm familiar with, I still feel lonesome, isolated. And a need in me to fill a hole in my "soul", "being", something. Walking down the street, an idea pops in my head. POINK! Go visit Kit Kat Club. Had enough money to spend an hour or two just looking at beautiful women and gazing into their eyes. Even if it was fake and maybe at a distance , there's the one-on-one eye contact of intimacy. Something to temporarily fill the void. Shrugged it off. Goofy idea. Bit o' wishful thinking. Well, afterwards, task done. Decided to watch a movie to occupy my mind from other thoughts. Watched the latest Star Trek movie. Now, just having dinner. Still unsure of going. Maybe go to Sacramento and try the clubs there. But too long a drive. Same thing going to Sunnyvale to Kit Kat Club. There are other clubs there. Maybe do some more research. Don't know. Feel lonely on christmas eve. Not as special to me. Lost it's meaning. I look around and disgusted at the hypocrisy and the commercialism. The true meaning lost in all the other "traditions", "rituals", etc. that got heaped onto the "season". 7:45 p.m. 12/25/96 Last night. Went to go to Kit Kat Club. Closed. Went looking for Brass Rail. Took awhile. Got in. Crowded. Hate crowds. Damn, ....it's a bikini bar. No stripping. No lapping. No table dancing. Oh my. Just girls on three stages w/ TV's all around showing video of current dancer on main stage. Videos showing her just standing, moving around, topless. Still, I did have fun. A couple of good looking dancers. Did a lot of flirting, which I normally wouldn't have the guts to do. While just wearing a bikini or lingerie, the dancers were very sexy. Damn very good. Damn very enjoyable. There was a Christie Brinkley look-alike w/ brown eyes and bigger breasts and she did very energetic erotic dances. There was the one that looked like Sherilyn Fenn/Kelly LeBrock w/ a fantastic body. I flirted w/ her a lot. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that there was center main stage w/ medium and small stages on sides. I did more flirting while at medium stage where I got a more closer look. Anyway, it was also amateur night and there was an amateur who had curly blonde hair and blue eyes and looks like Nicole Kidman, wearing cut-off t-shirt and g-string. She was damn hot. Pant. Pant. Drool. She touches herself. Sometimes breasts exposed when she bends over. She mounts the brass rail. She slides her ass up and down the brass pole. Oooh, thinking of her gives me a hard-on. And when she's in front of me, I look in her eyes, lick my lips, smile, make love though my eyes. Then she looks in my eyes, licks her lips, smiles, make love through her eyes. Mmmmm. Shudder. Sigh. Anyways, spent a lot of time by that stage. Oh yeah, back to Sherilyn Fenn look-alike. So, I was out of money. I decided I wanted to see more of her. The dancers rotate from main, to medium, to small stage. The small stage looked more intimate. So I went to the ATM and got some cash, and went to small stage. Didn't get much of her attention this time. All seats taken. Well, after Sherilyn look-alike's set, I went to the bar. And watched a bit to see who's next. It was getting late. Christie Brinkly look-alike on stage. It would be some more minutes when she gets to smaller stage, so I might as well enjoy myself w/ dancer who currently goes to small stage. Full circle. Dancer I first saw when I came in the place. She looks like Teri Hatcher, but sexier. Anyway, sat down. I was only one there. We both looked at each other, shrugged, and smiled. Cool. Personal dance. Less crowded now. Close to closing time. Made best of situation, heavy flirting and eye contact. Damn she's hot. Two dances. Then announcement for last dance. So, one more dance. Highly enjoyed it. Guess I can enjoy exotic non-nude dance. As long as she has the right moves and there's a lot of heavy flirting. Guess I'll continue strip-clubbing. 7:10 p.m. 1/12/97 Saturday morning, didn't feel too well. Another one of those mornings. Got up a bit. Sat down. Some more sulking. Went driving to clear my mind. Rented laser disk. Got back to apartment. Flipped through channels. Report on "Gentlemen's Club" on A&E channel. Got me thinking about lap dances. The Hunger. Craving for sight of naked females. Walked out to think and get a pizza. Deciding how much should spend, if I can. Ate pizza. Decide to go back to Kit Kat Club and see if any differences from last visit. Well, certainly different. Very crowded. Stage seats taken. Not as intimate as last time. Damn, I had more fun in a bikini bar. Oh well. 7 dancers w/ feature dancer. Samantha, long blonde hair, brown eyes, busty. Alex, short blonde hair, blue eyes, average breasts, curvy, spider tattoo on her right ass cheek. Leeza, almost a twin to Alex but w/ ankh tattoo on left of her tummy. Roxie, long red hair, brown eyes, busty, curvy, and energetic. Janelle, long blonde hair, brown eyes slightly less-than-handful [my handful, anyway] breasts, very sensual. Kristen, medium brunette hair w/ blonde streak, brown eyes, busty, muscular, energetically sexy. Drool. The feature dancer Griffin Drew (or was that Drew Griffin), long blonde hair, blue eyes, average breasts, long legs. Just pranced around, not very energetic. Though, she did kiss those that tipped her, like me. Though, I shouldn't have spent tips on her. Anyway, my favorites were Janelle and Kristen, but were never available for table dances. Both had regulars. By end of night, just went for Alex. She didn't excite me as much. Damn, I miss lap dancing. The feel of a dancer's ass rubbing against my crotch, her tits caressing my face, her body tightly pressed against mine. Er, um, cool off a bit. Ahem. So, plan to go back to Deja Vu on December 23 or December 24 depending on how much and how long I'm going to spend., hoping "Twentynine" will be there. mars at wco dot com