After posting my "from the martian chronicle" post on 3/16/97,
I just looked at my computer screen. My mind blank. Body numb. It was
an effort to write, reveal, spill my guts on something so close, so
personal. But I did it. And it was a bit cathartic. As I was typing
the post, every once in a while, I stop, and ask myself, "do I really
want to do this?" Yes. No. Whatever. And I keep typing. Though at
times, I thought, "oh shit. why the hell did i do that for?"
	I started something, might as well finish it.
	So, some more journal entries. Transcriptions. A precursor to
my "from the martian chronicle" post.
	Some names have been changed. And some comments added for
clarification.

	O.K.

	Ready?

      here we go:

in the beginning.

1:52 a.m. 10/19/96
	Finally found out the name of the dancer I was so awed by from
my last visit. Her name was Molli. *SIGH* Double *SIGH* Well then,
anyway, I saw Natasha strip. Wow! Met the illustrious ALS. Talkative
fellow. Didn't get to meet the other fellows I read about in the
newsgroup. Anyway, ALS said that I reminded him of a cartoon
character. Eventually, it was decided that I looked like the quack
doctor from "The Simpsons". So, I watched the other dancers. Different
styles. Again, w/ the cool music. I had to turn down a couple of
dancers. Geez. Me, actually turning down girls. Amazing. Eventually
got a lap dance w/ Natasha. This time w/ her nude. And I spent more
time than I planned. And I lost count. Ooh, felt good. Had to control
myself. We finished. We were both exhausted. And back to watching the
dancers. Some interesting ones. There was a short blonde - slightly
muscular, big tits. And she did a belly dance. Cool. We make eye
contact a couple of times. Later, I had a dance w/ her. Diamond was
her name. I really enjoyed her. We rubbed. She nibbled. I caressed. We
hugged. Hoo, almost lost control. Anyway, talked w/ her a bit. She sat
on my lap as she dressed up. She tells me I'm sensual. Um. Sure. So
anyway, I was down a couple of dollars. Just watched some more dancers
and turned down some dancers. A couple were a bit huffy at the turn
downs. Made me feel apologetic and guilty. I hate disappointing
people. A flaw of mine. There was one a bit tipsy telling me that I'll
have a wonderful time w/ her. No thanks. And hey, I never got
approached by Molli. damn.
	Well, a night I very much enjoyed. Wow. I really needed this.
But next time, try more control.

12:51 p.m. 10/19/96
	Oh never mind. I can't afford this every month. I saw some
dancers that I wanted some contact w/, but I know that some (well,
one)  I might end up really falling for.

11:30 p.m. 11/17/96
	Never got to do what I planned to do last week. Too much
overtime. Still thinking about going back to strip-clubbing. Possibly
try out Deja Vu Centerfolds. I've read the strippers there are more
Playboy/Penthouse types like at O'Farrell Theatre. The dancers at Chez
Paree are more girl-next-door types. With the loneliness I've been
feeling, I'd easily get emotionally attached to them then the ones at
Deja Vu.

6:08 p.m. 12/12/96
	Well, Tuesday, yesterday, and today,  I was at Sunnyvale
attending [name brand] class. Was o.k. Anyway, on Tuesday, while
driving around during lunch, I saw the Kit Kat Club. It was next to a
BofA. The couple of times in the past I visited the bank, I never
noticed there was a strip club next door. Well, I thought maybe might
visit during my lunch on Wednesday. Later that night, I read up on
that club to find out what to expect. So, Wednesday, got an extended
lunch break. End up visiting Fry's Electronics. Favored computer chips
instead of dancer tits. Then, today, class finished early. Was able to
finish test at almost 3 p.m. I decided to celebrate and go to Kit Kat
Club. Drop by bank to withdraw some cash. Then went to club next door.
Got in. Music playing. Three guys sitting by stage.
	Where's the stripper?
	Went to the bar and got a beer. Damn. No Guinness! Then I hear
the DJ announce the dancer. Drank some more. Mmmm. Beer. 
	Then, I turn around to watch the dancer.
	Cute. I decided to go sit by the stage. A sweet dancer. Wavy
dark blonde hair, blue eyes, small tits. Nice figure. I smile at her a
lot. Her set finished. Now just me sitting by the stage. Weird. One
song later. Two more guys come in and sit at the bar while another
dancer comes out. Reminds me of Zee [previous co-worker whom I had a
short-term crush for] w/ smaller tits. Anyway, I got full attention
from her. Cool. More guys come in and sit at tables. The DJ comments
why don't they sit by the stage and tip the dancer. In the meantime, I
was enjoying myself and singing along w/ the songs and singing to the
dancer. And giving her a bit more tips as well. Then another song w/
no dancer on stage. So, I just drank my beer and looked at the TV
showing cable access ads. Then, the next dancer. Nice. Reminds me of
the girl, I used to see, that worked at [record store] next to where I
used to work. Long straight blonde hair, blue eyes, strong nose,
hardbody. The dancer had brown eyes, not much a hardbody, but nice
figure, and big tits. Of course, I got a lot attention from her. I
smile and tip $2. I've noticed the other guys just tip $1. On the
dancer's nude dance set, I tipped $3. More smiles. After she finished,
she thanked me and greeted me a merry christmas. Another song. Then,
next dancer. Shoulder-length auburn hair, brown eyes, big tits, nice
ass. Her make-up suggests a possible goth girl (my fave type). During
her nude dance, a Nine Inch Nails song played, a favorite one- "Just
What I Get". Of course, I sang along. Then next break. Another Nine
Inch Nails song. Again, a favorite - "Head Like a Hole". Sang along as
usual. Then, the first dancer I saw came back. Her I like a lot.
Forgot to mention earlier that she probably had ballet lessons. When I
first saw her, she was on her toes like a ballerina wearing ballet
shoes. Remember the ballerina fantasies? Big lusty grin. Anyway, I
tipped every other time she comes over to me. I smile to her a lot.
She finishes her set and I tip her another $3. The DJ starts
mentioning about table dances. Anyway, I decided it was time to leave.
Not much variety. Only 4 dancers dancing. Not very good pole work.
Dancing a bit sensual, but at least I got CLOSE attention. Heh.
Anyway, I got up and headed out the door. The DJ commented that I was
leaving.  Earlier during one of the breaks, the DJ came by me, on her
way back to the DJ booth, thanking me. I guess it was because I was
the only one doing any tipping. And I definitely liked the attention I
got from the dancers.
	Anyway, I had planned on tomorrow to stop by Savoy Tivoli and
have a beer then visit Coit Tower to reminisce old times. And because
of this afternoon's little adventure, might drop by Deja Vu
Centerfold. Probably watch first, looking for the one whom arouses me
the most and get a lap dance from her and hopefully during the 2for1
special that I read about.



mars at wco dot com