LUST "Lord, grant me chastity and continence, but not yet" -- St. Augustine, Confessions 8.18 She was so incredible. I was going through SOAR, an orientation program for all the neophytes at school, and as I walked toward the class registration table, there she stood. Blonde hair, gorgeous smile, and long legs, she was the stereotypical California girl. The wind was blowing ever so gently, her cotton summer dress pressed against her perfect body. I'm really, no, REALLY, going to love this school. Her name was Lori. She said she was a second year student, helping all the little freshmen like myself. That's great! It's cool that you like to help people. "I do it to meet cute boys", she said. Oh. So it wasn't quite philanthropic, I still liked her anyway. Like? Okay, I lusted after her. She was a Goddess, and that's with a capital G. ENVY "I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on." -- Oscar Levant A boyfriend? Why does she even have a boyfriend? What a bastard. What did he do to deserve her? She should be mine. I wanted to own her. To possess her. How can I take his place? How about dinner? At the dining hall! Wanna sit with me? "You're not really going to eat those vegetables are you?", she said with a grimace on her face. No, no way, I don't even know why they put them on my plate? Sheesh, those jokers. - I really liked those vegetables. But if Lori didn't like 'em, I sure wasn't going to eat them. She finally lost that boyfriend. Sure took long enough. Let's go party! "I can't, I have to work", she seemed to say that a lot. And she never got home before 3am. Oh, what do you do? Are you a waitress? "Sure, I'm a waitress" - It didn't matter much to me, because that month was a good month. I wanted her so badly. I must have finally did something right, because she started staying over three, four nights a week. My non-existent roommate dropped out the second week of school. The room was all mine, and hers... "Hey, we're going to a tittie bar, come with us", my buddies yelled. Sure. How old do you have to be? Okay, Let me get my fake ID. When they spotted her, they were real quick to blurt out, "Heh heh, isn't that your girlfriend?" Oh, ya, I knew that she worked here the whole time. She just didn't want me to say anything, you know how it goes. -- I was as shocked as Lori when she saw me. But we played it off. It actually turned me on after our shouting match later that night. I'm the one she comes home to, right? SLOTH "That indolent but agreeable condition of doing nothing." -- Pliny the Younger Lori used to sleep all day. I used to sleep all day. After all, I only had 6 units my first semester. I started with 15. I didn't even go to class that often. She danced almost every night during the week. I went to class a couple times a week, if I didn't hit the snooze bar one too many times. Sleep, sex, and eating. That's about the extent of my life. It was good, and simple. Oh yeah, there was studying for one of my two classes once in awhile. I still don't know how I ended up with only a 2.5 GPA that semester. Well, maybe I do. GREED "man shall not live by bread alone" -- Deuteronomy 8:3 I loved the stuff she used to get me: cool surfer shirts, zippy leather shoes, and Swatch watches. This was the 80's, mind you. I even got a leather bomber jacket. Having a girlfriend who made a lot of cash was a good thing. Not that I didn't treat her well, but, hell, I got a lot of cool shit. Christine was Lori's friend. She was also pretty damn good looking. Brunette, dazzling green eyes, and another pair of long legs. I don't know why she always flirted with me, but I flirted back. That can't hurt, right? She said she was a waitress too. Sure, just like Lori, I kidded. "Ha ha, so you know then? I'm surprised she told you", was her response. Well, she didn't have much of a choice. Having me know seemed to loosen Christine up a lot. Is that good or bad? That all depends on how you look at it. In the short run, I thought I was the shit. In the long run, well... GLUTTONY "No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut." -- Channing Pollack Tuesdays and Thursdays were the nights when Lori worked but Christine didn't. Let's see other people. "Are you sure that's what you want? If so, that's okay with me", Lori replied in such a cool manner. Too bad I was too entranced with images of boffing multiple women to even see the truck coming on my blindside. After some romper room time with Christine, it didn't take even me, the rocket scientist, to realize her deck was missing a few cards. But, hey, I'm doing a couple of strippers. What a stud, right? PRIDE "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall." -- Proverbs 16:18 Who cares. No big deal. Why even bother getting mad? After all, she only slept with my best friend. But hey, I'm a big boy. After all, we're not committed right? I did sleep with her friend. All is fair, right? Heck, they were drunk. And I am man enough to handle this. I'm not some sensitive schmuck who can't deal with having an open relationship. It was all my idea in the first place, right? Who the hell was I kidding? I was pissed as hell. So I was being a hypocrite, but I was pissed nonetheless. Who the hell did she think she was, fucking my best friend? I mean, it wasn't as if Christine was her best friend. She was just some gal who worked with her, right? In a sick, illogical way, I even believed that I was right then. What I did was completely justifiable, whereas what she did was reprehensible. She wanted to talk. I shrugged it off. We're just friends, right? No worries! There was no way I was going to show her that it affected me. WRATH "Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame." -- Benjamin Franklin So I threw some parties and invited a couple more of her friends that I knew didn't care much about anything. Within a couple weeks, the two had stayed over at least a night each. Vindication? Not really. It didn't make me feel any better. In fact, I felt like shit. I sure didn't like them. I still wanted Lori. But, Lori stopped talking to me. Obviously. You either learn, or you go down in flames. It's too bad I got burned along with my bridge with Lori. Unfortunately, I know I burned her too. She was one of the nicest girls I ever knew. It's too bad I won't ever be able to be a part of her life again. LMR -- Las Vegas Strip Club Review http://www.stripclubreview.com/lasvegas/