Subject: EYE's pickup at Chez Paris

(No, it was not a typo)

I was sitting at home feeling lacrymose and confused. Any hour now, DrD 
would be boarding a plane eventually to arrive at the CP to a hero's 
welcome...... and I would still be here in potholed, ratholed, cornholed 
Brooklyn, trying to scare up the bucks for another month of car insurance 
for the Yugo, and a 10 year renewal of my subscription to Reader's Digest. 
Damn. It looked pretty bleak. But hey! What's this? A check for $400 I 
forgot to deposit from a few months ago....... BINGO. So I called up all the 
airlines.... sorry no dice, I needed the 7 day advanced purchase, plus where 
were the "lap funds" gonna come from once I got there? Maybe if I shined 
Vissidarte's shoes I could get a couple hundred more, but I could see it 
wasn't going to be enough. Resigned to another lonely weekend in Brooklyn, 
I thought.... "Just how AM I going to blow off this $400??"

And then it came to me. I'd show these SF boys a thing or two. I can do the 
"CP" game with the best of them.... and for a much more manageable cost. I 
picked up all the local White Pages to see if there was any "Chez Paree" in 
the immediate vicinity. I didn't need no freakin "Wonder-Pup" to roll out 
the red carpet for me!

Hmmmm. Nothing in Manhattan, Brooklyn..... a "Chez de Paris" discount 
furniture and bail bondsman operation out in Staten Island. Nah! The "de" 
part kind of threw me off. Finally, I stumbled onto the "Chez Paris Nail 
Salon" in Yonkers. YEAH!! A nail salon! There's bound to be lots of girls 
there.... probably a better ratio than those west coast pervs ever saw. 

I called up to make an appointment. "I want to get my nails done" I said 
sheepishly to the Dominican receptionist on the phone. Silence. Dead 
Silence. "I'm going to be the Best Man at Dennis Rodman's wedding and I 
need to have a custom nailjob, and I have LOTS OF MONEY." An explosion of 
high pitched spanish girl chat ensued, and moments later I was penciled in 
for a 10:30 appointment. I put on my tux, bought a bouquet of roses and a 
bottle of Dom Perignon, cashed in my chips for 400 1 dollar bills, and I 
was on my way to Yonkers.

I got there 15 minutes early, so I did a little research from the one-eyed 
newstand guy downstairs. "You know those girls at Chez Paris? What are 
their names and who is the best looking and most fun?" I flashed him a 
fistful of Georges and I got my answer fast. "You want Estelle. Watch out for 
Fifi. She's the owner and I hear a real hard core dyke." Estelle it was.

Upstairs I strolled in arrogant as could be. "You must be Estelle" I said to 
the only remarkable girl in the house (and she was a babe...YOW). 
"Dennis's fiance Stacy says you are the best in town. I'm so glad you made 
room for me on your busy schedule. I know it must be overwhelming being 
manicurist to the stars". She looked at me quizzically but gladly went along 
with the idea she was famous. When I popped open the Dom and handed her 
the flowers, she was like putty in my hand. "I hope you don't mind being 
paid in ones. Being the manager at 'Scores', I get a lot of girls wanting big 
bills at closing time. What I want you to do is paint worms sliding through 
hoops, each in a different color. Let's start with the pinkies. But first, let 
me pour you a tumbler full of champagne.....mmmm, I love that scent. What 
is it?" More shameless hustling and plying with liquor followed. I kept 
telling her to make the worms BIGGER and the hoops TIGHTER...... and I was 
tipping her separately for each finger. By the time she got to my thumbs, I 
had her drawing giant phalluses penetrating dripping labia...... and the 
bottle of Dom was down to the last trickle.

"Hey, the wedding starts in about an hour and I bet Stacy and Dennis would 
love it if YOU came!" (Jesus, I had Estelle completely in starfucker 
heaven.) I decided to leave the Yugo parked on the street, and I called up a 
Limo service during a break in the action. "Come on, Es, you look just 
great the way you are. Let's go!" On the way over the Triboro, I got one of 
the most thrilling BJ's of my life. Damn, she wanted this. I told the driver 
to stop off at Scores. "Wait here a second" I said to Estelle and the driver. 
"I'm just going in to refresh our Champagne supply".

After entering (thank God they didn't see me paying a cover charge) I 
immediately found the rear exit and took the next cab up to Yonkers to pick 
up the Yugo. I was long gone, before Estelle ever knew a thing. 

So I got picked up at the "Chez Paris". I just wonder if the good Doctor will 
be so lucky.