A Knight in the Entourage at ASSCon-LV2 Where: SF to LV and back again When: Who can remember by now ... Sleep deprivation is a strange thing. For some strange reason a group of clearly insane people decided that it would be reasonable to leave the Chez Paree at closing time on Friday, drive down to Las Vegas for ASSCon-LV2 and then drive back. Now, I'm sure I would not normally be considered insane enough for such a venture (no sniggers from the back row please!) but since I have been known to function on less than reasonable amounts sleep and didn't learn to drive in California, I was included as an emergency spare back-up chauffeur and substitute bodyguard for the Pope :-). So, we did indeed head south at 3 am on Saturday morning for the Camalot road trip: ALS, Molli, Abnormal and myself - you get to decide who played each role but lest you doubt the Pope is a real magician, I'll tell one story of the trip ... It was about 5am and we were somewhere on I5, with ALS driving, traveling through thining fog at somewhere around 90 mph (yes it was safe .. provided the driver is not quite human). We're just about to pass a car cruising along in the slow lane when said car turns on blue and red flashing lights! ALS drops back and tucks in behind the cops and decides that he can't quite get the meaning of the yellow flashing arrow ... We drop back just far enough for the cop to momentarily fade into the mist when another car passes us. This car is another white MBZ of a very similar model, so we let them take our place behind the cop car in case they feel the need to write a ticket for the guy who almost passed them. Luck or Magic? You decide ... but I guess you can place Merlin now :-). We arrived in LV after about 8 hours, so with the fog taken into account, I didn't drop ALS's average too much. We headed for Treasure Island to borrow a room to clean up. Obligatory incident of maximum humor: We walked into the room, expecting JustPhil to be there. The only shape visible was curled up in a bed, so Molli began jumping up and down on the bed shouting "Dogpile, dogpile on .. um .. you're not JustPhil ...". I'm not sure whether the funniest expression was hers or Phil's roomates :-). Again I guess you had to be there - but since Molli seemed like a goddess for the rest of the night, it's necessary to point out she's not absolutely perfect :-). After showering and changing we headed out to Cheetah's. Abnormal and I were following Molli and the Pope as they walked through the Casino. Those of you who were there and saw Molli will not be surprised to hear that we saw 27 men and 5 women stop what they were doing and turn to watch as they walked by ... and spectacular as he is I'm sure they weren't watching ALS! Mark Green has to be thanked for hosting this event since everything was up and running by the time we got there and a large group of ASS-Cers had taken over the corner of the club next to the main stage. I'm sure I don't remember exactly who was there but I heard about 33, so that's the largest ASS-C gathering I've yet attended. I won't try to list the names since I'm sure Mark will post the entire guest list. I won't even try to mention everyone but there were a couple of people who managed to stand out: It was good to see that Bubba was in full form, complete with Dog Collar and food bowl! It must have been the company that inspired him. CP-1 was enjoying the hospitality of Cheetah's to the full and was rarely seen without someone sitting on his lap. I'm sure he raised the average spent by the group a fair amount :-) Visitors from far away that it was a pleasure to see again included Ginger (even if we didn't get to say more than a few words all evening). LMR was ... just being LMR :-). Trighap sat at the back of the room, trying to make sure he attracted Molli's attention whnever she wasn't otherwise occupied. He seemed to succeed from time to time too :-) Anyway, back to the event .. I was looking forward to seeing how long it would take JustPhil to fall off the wagon .. but by the time we arrived he was already rolling around in the dirt behind it while it headed off to the hills! I have to say that Cheetah's is a high energy noisy smoky flashing lights kind of place, and not exactly to my tastes, so I tried to find a quiet corner to sit in and watch the activities. The pope was in fine form for the evening, displaying more energy than any other 3 people and I'm sure everyone who interacted with him will remember it for a long time - especially JasmineT ... but maybe Mark doesn't know what they really got up to under that coat. Actually, since he was being "hugged" by Molli at the time, maybe he didn't even care :-). But for all of the Pope's magnificence, the star of the show for the evening was clearly MissMolli. I'm quite sure everyone who saw her will agree with that - and those fortunate enough to receive one of the "hugs" being liberally (if not freely) dispensed will remember the evening for quite a while, I'm sure ... :-) We did eventually get JustPhil to break entirely and even spend his own money on a lap dance. He was last seen chasing after the Wagon he'd previously been on ... we'll see if he can catch it and climb back on! I didn't get to talk to as many people as I would normally have done, since the noise and smoke kept me restricted to the corner near the stage where the HVAC was maximally effective and the speakers were pointing away, but I did get to chat briefly with a number of people, some of whom I'd met before and some I'd only seen on-line. At least I have faces to connect to names now, including ZBone who'd been on my "must meet list" for a while - we didn't get to talk but I did see his face ... peeping over Molli's shoulder as I remember it :-). Anyway, I'm trying to surprise everyone by keeping this short (and, for me, short is < 500 lines :-)), I'll elide the rest of the detail since I'm sure the censor would anyway ... I'm sure they will be enough posts to give those poor unfortunates who didn't make the trip to LV a clue about what went on! So all in all, it was a spectacular event that I'm glad I attended - even if the ratio was 15 hours in the car to 5 hours in the club! And yes, we did make it back in 7 hours, including food stops - which is only an average of 80 mph after all. The maximum speed is left as an exercise for the interested reader, and if any CHP folk are reading, you can regard this entire work as a piece of entertaining fiction. Come to think of it, perhaps I am insane enough to be included in this crew after all ... so when's the next trip? Once again Congrat's to MG for hosting the event so well; to JustPhil for being the object that stirred up so much interest; to ALS for being the source of energy that keeps all this going; to Abnormal for being the only person that sat on *my* lap all night :-) and to Molli for .. well .. for just being Molli (do I need to say more?) ========================================= = Sir Kay, Wandering Knight Errant = = Dragons Slain and Damsels Appreciated = =========================================