From: df@accelenet.net Date: Sat Jul 12 09:45:29 1997 The metallic taste drowned the faint aroma of juniper as my lips locked on a pierced, silicone enhanced breast. One hand stroked the other breast while the other stroked Ms. Snappy. My shirt was unbuttoned to my waist, her tongue was exploring one orifice or another, her left hand stroked my hair and her right hand was vigorously attending to Mr. Happy. Nasty Twister? No, I was at the one and only Fantasia, where all the laws Canada’s ever passed about nude clubs are routinely ignored. Except one, as we’ll see later. Ah, Canada. Look at your map: see that big empty space above the US? That’s what they call a country. You get more miles -- they’re called “kilometers”, which may explain why you get more mileage in a club. You can go pretty fast on the highways, eh? Like 100 is the limit, but 120’s not enough to avoid being tailgated in the right lane. Cars accelerate to 100 as fast as US cars get to 60. And you get more money for your dollar. They call them “dollars” too, but it looks like Milton Bradley had a thing for unattractive, inbred chicks. I can’t help reveling in the terrific value, attractive women, and extremely good dancing available here. In general, in Toronto, you should expect a fully nude lap dance with plenty of grindage and with no customer contact for about $10 CDN. This compares to bikini dances at TJ’s, for example, for $10 US. For twice as much, you should be able to touch everything but the kitty. This is an “average” dance, and at an exchange of 7.50 US for 10 CDN, you won’t find a better bargain in North America. Full mutual contact nude dances at $15 US! At Fantasia, the minimum you can expect this from every dancer, yet some dancers are more enthusiastic than others. The Beater picked me up at my hotel, and by the way, Beater, thanks for driving. He let me pick where to eat, and of course I chose my favorite club, the Caberet Locomotion. I saw my favorite dancer there, Delilah, who was French (not Quebecois) and not Parisian. She approached and asked “R____”? I was impressed. Hell, even Beater was impressed. It had been quite a while since I had last visited the place -- so long that it may have already expired on DejaNews. Yet, she remembered me. We chatted, I ate dinner, then she danced for me. I can’t help but fall into her chocolate eyes when they look at me. Of all the dancers who pretend to like me, she does it the best. She has a great ass -- I mean, I have not seen better anywhere -- but she’s moving to Vancouver. Which is in another part of Canada. CANCON officially started at the Brass Rail, an upscale place which doesn’t appeal to me. I couldn’t get the eye of the dancer I wanted to try, but I did avoid all the rest. It’s small, crowded, smoky and the stage dances aren’t all that good. Also, there’s no place to sit, and the dancers rarely sit down and chat. Still, most of the dancers were very good looking, and the crowd was energetic. LMR’s hat design went over well. After meeting briefly, we ASSC-ers headed over to Fantasia. It’s not really worth going before 10, except possibly to reserve a seat. Yet, we were there about 8:30. The smart ASSC-er will wait an hour before getting a dance, and no one will be surprised to find that I got a dance almost right away. A petite, slutty looking brunette danced for me. Of all the dances I’ve had in Toronto, this was one of the lowest mileage -- yet, incurable optimist that I am, I had three. The last time I was there, entrance to the showroom included VIP room privileges, and allowed in-and-out privileges, so that’s where I started. Oops. $20 down the drain. Plus I left my change on the table back there, which was probably about $5 CDN. So two mistakes right away. Not to mention, I’m $180 into the evening, after cover, parking and the few drinks I paid for. There were more than a few absolutely knock-out gorgeous dancers. But you can be sure that these girls have the worst kilometerage. There were enough ugly girls to populate Toronto with Deja Vus. And there were lots of dancers in the middle, some of whom will make good use of your money. Then Delta-9’s dancer showed up, and he disappeared for a while. When he returned, she asked if I wanted a dance. “Seduce me”, I said, and pointed to my lap. She sat down, we chatted for a few minutes, probably a song, and then said, “Let’s go dance”. We did. In the VIP room this time, which was a good idea. As we left for our dance, the tables were in an awkward position, so I lifted her up and gracefully set her down in the aisle. Everyone at the table pretended not to be impressed, but the sober ones were. I’d had a few radioactive gin and tonics (my summer drink, which is what they claim to be having in Toronto, and one originally developed to prevent Malaria which is important in a club which thinks a towel solves any sanitation problem), and my hangover from the night before was almost gone. It was a great dance, but like me, too short. She promised to get me after the dance, and I failed to heed her recommendation to stay in the VIP room to reserve my seat. Sitting alone and staring at other guys doesn’t appeal to me. The dancer recommended by Delta-9 started groping me and asked, “So, you’re a Yankee, eh?” “Thanks to you” I replied, looking down. She didn’t get it, but that’s OK. She shoved her tongue down my throat. "Hey," I thought, "She really does taste like an ashtray". I tried not to think about all her previous customers, and especially, what else had been shoved down her throat. Then I decided that I _wanted_ to think about it. Mr. Happy was with me on this one, and Mr. Hygiene wasn’t coming to the party. After three songs it turns out that Mr. Happy wasn’t, either. She had to go; it was Cattle Call. After Cattle Call (where everyone in the room is introduced), she found me again, and we went to the VIP room to find the seats full. She had several suitors waiting in there -- with seats -- so I released her to her fate. I had blue balls anyway, and was losing my interest. Beater fended off lots of dancers, announcing that he was “picky”. Yet, when I finally found the dancer he wanted... let’s just say we have very different tastes in dancers. There was no room for him in the VIP room either, so he and his dancer sat in a corner near the stage, and in full view of the ASSC table. Of course, we watched. In between dances I watched the stage show, watched Lapper follow D9 around like a puppy -- and given D9's knowledge of girls who "do" who can blame him? The girl/girl shows on stage were pretty good, although not as good as SF. When D9D finally returned we went into the VIP room and found a seat. During that song the manager came by several times, yet she never stopped stroking me and kept licking my nipples. As she was doing this he informed her that she had to use a towel. This interruption did nothing to solve a very pressing need I had. During the second song, she told me she had to go again, but that she’d introduce me to her friend. So I paid $50 for these two songs, and got three more from her friend. I wish I’d started with her friend. D9DF: She’s just my type except she’s tall, short blond hair with enhanced boobs. Come to think of it, she isn’t my type at all. Yet, her dances were very high mileage, and she had a tongue post. When I mentioned that I’d always wanted to try that, she explained exactly what it would take for that to happen right here in the club. She had a towel, so apparently blow jobs were OK. Hard as it was to believe, I was finally low on cash and couldn’t get one. Still, I got all the information I need for my next trip. Beater and I left poor, but happy. I could finally get my four hours of sleep, then return to work. -- Dave's Friend df@accelenet.net http://webhome.idirect.com/~beater/df_rev.html