Here's a little holiday gift to y'all from my seriously warped mind... Saxbeat A lurker who wishes to remain anonymous asked me if I'd post this to the group: HELLO!!!! MY NAME IS JIM AND IM' NEW TO THIS NEWSGROUP. IV'E BEEN GOING TO STRIP CLUBS FOR ABOUT TWO YEARS NOW, AND I PROBABLY KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT STRIP CLUBS. I JUST WANTED TO POST A FEW THOUGHTS AND ASK A FEW QUESTIONS OF EVERYONE HERE. FIRST OF ALL, CHECK OUT THE DEJA VU IN ONTARIO. IT IS THE HOTTEST CLUB!!! THEY HAVE ALL-NEW WOOD PANELLING AND A GREAT SOUND SYSTEM. THE DJ IS REALLY GOOD, TWO. I C'ANT BELIEVE THE DANCERS. GET A PRIVATE DANCE FROM SUGAR. FOR A DOLLAR SHE'LL WHIP IT OUT AND BLOW YOU RIGHT THERE!!!! SHE DIDN'T EVEN MAKE ME WEAR A CONDOM!!!!!! 'ITS EVEN BETTER THAN THE FLAMINGO IN ANAHYME. OF COURSE, I DO''NT GET LAP DANCES ANYMORE, BECAUSE I DON"T GO TO PROSTITUTES. I USED TO, BUT NOW I'M DATING A DANCER AND SHE LET'S ME SCREW ALL HER FRIENDS FOR FREE. HER FRIENDS ARE ALWAYS ASKING TO BORROW MONEY FROM ME THOUGH, AND ONE OF THEM BORROWED MY CAR LAST WEEK. SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BRING IT BACK YESTERDAY, BUT I HAVEN'T SEEN HER YET. HEY SAXBEAT! I'VE GOT ANOTHER ONE FOR YOU "YOU KNOW YOUR IN TROUBLE WHEN YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE BUS TO THE CLUB!!!!!!" HEHEHEHE. DO YOU GUYS THINK THIS CHICK IS SERIOUS ABOUT ME, OR SHOULD I FORGET HER? SO, WHAT'S WITH THESE BITCH WARS IN THIS GROUP ANYWAY? CANT' THESE CHICKS GET ALONG? MAYBE WE SHOULD LET THOSE RODNEY KING COPS WORK EM OVER. JUST KIDDING!!! I LOVE ALL THE DANCER WHO CONTRIBUTE THEIR VALUABLE OPINIONS TO THIS GROUP, ESPECIALLY KAT, SAYLA, KRISTEN, SALYA, LEATHERKAT, MARGO, NAKEDGIRL9, YOUR MOTHER, TBACKDANCER, JAZMINE, JAZMINETEA, JASMINE, SUSIE LUNDY, VEGAS DANCER, AND ALS. I CANT LIVE WITHOUT ANY OF YOU. I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERY DAY, AND IF I EVER GET TO YOUR CITY, I'LL COME AND LOOK YOU UP, IF YOU'LL FEEL ME UP FOR FREE. DID YOU GUYS EVER NOTICE THAT A LOT OF STRIPPERS USE THE SAME NAMES AS OTHER STRIPPERS? LIKE DUH. YOU KNOW, I SEE A LOT OF GUYS IN THIS GROUP MENTION GETTING "EXTRA SERVICES" FROM DANCERS. DO YOU DANCERS EVER DO THAT? IF SO, HOW MUCH DO YOU CHARGE? WHERE DO YOU WORK? WILL YOU GIVE ME A DISCOUNT SINCE I'M FROM ASS-C? I DON'T BELIEVE THOSE EXTRA SERVICES STORIES. I ASK EVERY DANCER I MEET IF SHE'LL SCREW ME AFTER HER SHIFT AND THEY ALL SAY NO. WHAT A CROCK. YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY BUGS ME? THESE GUYS WHO PRETEND TO BE CUSTOMERS, BUT THEY WORK FOR A CLUB. I MADE UP A WORD FOR IT: SCHILLING, LIKE THE SPICES, BECAUSE THEY REALLY BURN ME UP. THERE ARE A FEW GUYS IN THIS GROUP WHOM YOU I HAVE POSTIVE PROOF ARE SHILLS: SAXBEAT, ALS, RJORDAN, AD, BUBBA, TIGER, PELICANHEAD, CURIOUS GEORGE, TRAVELLIN' MAN, HALF ELVEN, EARENDIL, EZEKIAL, RUDEBOY, DOUG, Z BONE, MR. REGULAR, CQUE, ROCKET MAN, ED TUTHILL, MENI, CMG, AND ATOMIC DOG. SOME OF THESE GUYS EVEN HAVE WEB PAGES. AS IF. E-MAIL ME AND I'LL SEND YOU PROOF THAT THE ABOVE GUYS ARE ALL CLUB EMPLOYEES. I AM SCANNING IN PICTURES OF THEM NOW, AND I'LL POST THEM AS SOON AS I CAN GET MY BASE 64 PROGRAM FIRED UP. UNFORTUNATELY, MY SCANNER WON'T SAVE JPEG FORMAT, SO THEY WILL HAVE TO BE UNCOMPRESSED. (OFF THREAD TOPIC: CAN ANYONE RECOMMEND A GOOD SCSI CABLE?) THE ONLY GUYS' WHO'S REVIEWS I REALLY TRUST ARE DAVE HUTCHINSON, MAC HORN, AN345678 AND ALL THOSE CANADIAN GUYS. (CANADIAN STIP CLUBS RULE!!!!) I WANT TO TRY THAT POSITIVE CHRISTIAN THING ON THIS CHICK AT THE DEJA VU. SHE WEARS A CROSS ALL THE TIME, SO I KNOW SHES' RELIGIOUS. NEXT I WANT TO GO TO THAILAND. ALL THOSE BITCHES IN THIS COUNTRY WHO WONT' STROKE MY MEAT FOR A BUCK REALLY RING MY DRUM. I BET THOSE THAI GIRLS REALLY GO FOR HUGGING TOO, BECAUSE THEY GET CANED FOR CHEWING GUM IN THAT COUNTRY. HEY, ALS, SEND ME ONE OF THOSE ASS-C BUTTONS FOR FREE, AND MAYBE THEN I'LL BELIEVE YOUR REAL. CAN ANY OF YOU GUYS TELL ME THE BEST CLUBS TO GO TO WHERE I CAN GET OFF? A LOT OF GUYS IN THIS GROUP TALK ABOUT GETTING OFF, BUT I NEVER HAVE. I'M HUNG LIKE A GIRAFFE, TOO, AND ALL THE DANCERS GIVE ME HAND JOBS THROUGH MY PANTS BUT I NEVER GOT OFF. DO YOU WEAR A CONDOM? IF YOU DONT IS IT MESSY? ALSO, WHAT EXACTLY IS A LAP DANCE? I HAD A GIRL SIT IN MY LAP ONCE, BUT I DIDN'T GET OFF. I ASKED HER HOW MUCH IT WAS FOR EXTRA'S AND SHE HAD ME THROWN OUT OF THE CLUB. BITCH. ALSO, WHICH CLUBS HAVE THE BEST DJS? THE DJ AT THE DEJA VU IN ONTARIO IS THE BEST. I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH HIM, SO HE LET'S ME PICK THE MUSIC FOR THE DANCERS. ITS REALLY FUNNY WHEN I MAKE THEM DANCE TO CATPIN AND TINEEL. HEHEHE. ;^) ALSO, HOW MUCH DO YOU GUYS SPEND AT CLUBS? I NEVER SPEND MORE THAN $20, AND I ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME. DID YOU KNOW IN SAN FRANCISCO, LAP DANCES ARE ONLY A DOLLAR? AND THE DANCERS ARE GREATFULL TO GET IT, TO. THAT'S WHY I KNOW THAT ALS GUY IS A SCHILLING. HE SAID HE GETS A DOZEN LAP DANCES FOR FIVE BUCKS (THAT'S ONLY 75 CENTS A DANCE), AND I TRIED IT AND THIS DANCER WALKED AWAY, ALL TICKED OFF. SO I OFFERED THE NEXT DANCER TEN BUCKS AND SHE SAT ON MY LAP (BUT I DIDN'T GET OFF) BUT IT WAS ONLY FOR ONE SONG. WHAT A RIP. THAT NEW CENTURY PLACE IS WAY OVERHIPPED. WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS TIPPING? I NEVER TIP WAITRESSES OR BARTENDERS. IF THEY WANT MONEY, THEY CAN DANCE FOR ME. THE FIRST DRINK ALWAYS SOMES RIGHT AWAY, BUT MY TEST IS HOW LONG IT TAKES THE SECOND DRINK. IT ALWAYS TAKES FOREVER, SO F*U*C*K THEM, THEY OBVOIUSLY AREN'T PERFESSIONNLES. BEFORE I FINNISH, I WANT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT ALL THE INITIALS IN THIS NEWSGROUP. I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON THE HALF TIME. LIKE WHAT IS NCT? AND WHAT IS MB AND MSC? DONT THOSE FRISCO PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO SPELL? AND TO THE GUY WHO KEEPS SENDING ME E-MAIL ASKING WHERE ONTARIO IS, ITS IN CALIFORNIA, YOU MORON!! WHAT OTHER ONTARIOES ARE THERE? LIKE DUH. JIM BAKER P.S. WHERE IS THIS BUBBA MUSEUM EVERYONE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT?