From: Z Jay Drew <zjdrew@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.strip-clubs
Subject: ASSC: AFTSD 2003 Dancin' in the Dark: Experimental evidence supporting the "No light is outta sight!" Hypothesis
Date: Wed, 03 Dec 2003 01:11:45 +0000
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Dancin' in the Dark: Experimental evidence supporting the "No Light is
Outta Sight!" Hypothesis


The weather, frankly, sucked. Torrential rains the night before; it wasn't
raining cats and dogs, it was raining goats and sheep. That morning, the
precipitation had tailed off to a steady downfall of rabbits, guinea pigs,
and other rodentia. Streets were flooded. Work was slow, though, so I
bailed out of the office to spend a few quality hours at my favorite
Seattle den of iniquity.

To my horror, there were several police cars in the parking lot, which is
shared with the gas station and car wash next door. Upon closer
examination, though, I determined the cause of the police presence was
traffic control. Seems that the rains had caused a power failure in the
area by drowning a below-street-level vault; the local power company had
workers underground trying to repair the damage, and the police were
trying to keep idiot drivers from sliding on rain-slick streets and
killing one of the high-tension types. They weren't there for any reason
related to the club.

I doffed my raincoat, donned my first raincoat, readjusted my lapshorts,
and sauntered into the club. The dark club. The very dark club. I was
eventually greeted by a flashlight-toting waitress who accepted my $10 and
my drink order and then informed me "our power is out, but we're running
on backup. Only one stage is open." I stumbled through the Stygian gloom
to my regular haunt, the "pervert's row" seats past the DJ booth.

Sure enough, only the mainstage was in use. Only half the stage lights
were lit, and they weren't doing their regular blink-blink; they were just
on, no muss, no fuss, eliminating shadows in the one place in the club
where no one wanted shadows. Near as I could tell, the only power in the
joint was being consumed by the stage lights and the sound system. Candles
on the tables, candles in the johns, candles behind the bar. (Upon inquiry
I was informed that a generator had previously been installed elsewhere on
the premises to assist with some construction work; that had been pressed
into service to keep the club open.)

Normally, I love this club between 1100 (opening time) and 1230 when
"stage one" opens up. The first 90 minutes is "main stage" only, leaving
the rest of the club dimly lit by some red light bulbs and a chain of
small chase lights around the unused stage. (At 1230 that set of stage
lights come up, dispersing the gloom.) The lowered light levels usually
result in increased mileage levels during those 90 golden minutes.

Many of us have observed, over the years, that mileage and overall
lighting levels are usually inversely related. I have often speculated
that mileage should be effectively infinite during a total blackout. At
last, circumstances had conspired to create conditions in which a
dedicated researcher could conduct experiments designed to validate that
hypothesis. Fortuitously, I had come fully equipped to run tests.

For the record, please note that the club was not entirely dark; thus, I
was looking to confirm that mileage levels were higher than even the high
norm of the first 90 minutes of the dayshift. Since extensive
stickshifting and mock language lessons in French and Russian were common
during the baseline periods, I predicted that opportunities for true, deep
language lessons should occur at a higher rate than usual during these
unusual circumstances. I also anticipated an offer of vernacular deep
conversation, that is, social intercourse of the more probing variety,
would appear on the menu.

I can report that, at the cost of a couple dozen lap-dance coupons and the
irredeemable soiling of several sets of protective gear, I have indeed
obtained the experimental evidence I sought.

At least three dancers, who had heretofore restricted themselves to
fabric-mediated ("mock") language lessons, instead offered direct
discussions and hands-on work (with prophylactic handling equipment, of
course). All, in fact, elected to bypass fabric mediation without prior
notice or negotiation. None required any modification of normal
compensation rates.

*By all known definitions of "mileage", an increase in delivery without an
associated increase in normal compensation clearly implies greater
mileage.*

More interestingly, I received two offers for interactions normally so
rare as to occur, individually, less than one time per five visits to a
club lacking a VIP room with significant privacy and low observability
(direct or remote). While I have occasionally partaken in completely
non-intermediated russian conversation or in penetrating social
intercourse within the club milleu overall, I have never before had the
opportunity to enjoy both activities during the same visit to a non-VIP
club. [Note 1 - Some peer reviewers have expressed skepticism.] I can
confirm this double event actually took place during the experimental
interval. Even more surprising is the fact that only one of these two
events required a positive delta to normal rates of compensation, and that
delta was merely a multiplicative factor of two. 

Most quantitative definitions of "mileage" assign weightings to these two
events considerably greater than twice that of ordinary mock language
lessons; thus, service delivery with a score considerably greater than 2x
the norm, compared to a compensatory rate averaging merely 1.5x the norm,
nonetheless equates to higher mileage. [Note 2 - These quantitative
conclusions hold only if one interprets classical "one to ten" mileage
scores as being logarithmic rather than linear; this interpretation is not
difficult to support, but it does point out once again the challenges
inherent in attempting to apply objetive numerical weights to matters of,
essentially, subjective experiential impact. But you can't get a paper
published without some mathematical analysis, so there you go.]

Additional experimentation is required to provide a reasonable degree of
confidence in the validity of the hypothesis. Since human behavior is
involved, direct proof of the hypothesis is nigh unto impossible; the best
we can do is to obtain a stastically significant sample size supporting
it. Additional anecdotal evidence from reviewers and other researchers in
the field is welcome.

Respectfully submitted,
ZJay Drew